I asked a group of kids if they knew the pillars of Islam. They eagerly raised their hands and excitedly shared what they knew, but many of them mixed up the order.
To some, the order didn’t seem to matter much. After all, knowing the five pillars that define a Muslim should be enough, right?
Wrong.
This is where I see a common oversight in many Muslim families. The pillars of Islam must be learned, understood, and practiced in the exact sequence they were taught to us by the Prophet (peace be upon him).
Why is the order so important?
Imagine trying to perform Salah (prayer) before you’ve made the Shahadah (testimony of faith). It wouldn’t make sense, would it?
Can Zakah (charity) come before Salah? No. Can Hajj come before fasting during Ramadan? Absolutely not. Each pillar builds on the one before it, and this order is critical because it reflects the natural progression of how Allah wants us to practice our faith.
That’s why it’s a problem when we see educational materials like those common printable worksheets illustrating the pillars as if they are interchangeable pillars. To a child, this can send the wrong message. They might start thinking the order doesn’t matter, as long as they know all five. But it does matter. In fact, it makes a huge difference.
Think of it like building with Legos. If the foundational pieces aren’t placed in the correct sequence, the whole structure is weak and even collapses. Unfortunately, this is often how we inadvertently present the pillars to our kids through our parenting.
Our inaccurate understanding and presentation of Islam to our kids shows up when we mismanage our priorities as Muslim parents. For example, we might prioritize academics over religion, or focus on memorizing the Qur'an while neglecting to teach Aqeedah (Islamic creed) and Tawheed (the oneness of Allah). It might look like making a big deal out of Ramadan and fasting while delaying Salah training.
But the truth is, each pillar is a prerequisite for the next. There is no Salah (action) before Shahadah (belief), just as there is no fasting before establishing formal Salah.
And in case we deceive ourselves into thinking we can pick and choose which pillar we want to practice in any given day, let’s remember the Prophet (peace be upon him) told us that the first thing we’ll be asked about on the Day of Judgment is our Salah. If our Salah is good, everything else will follow. This confirms the idea that the orderly understanding and teaching of the Islamic pillars is imperative.
The problem arises when we try to negotiate with our nafs (self) when it comes to practicing parts of our faith. Some might think, "I don’t pray, but I’m really good at giving Zakah or sadaqah."
This is a flawed understanding of our Islam, and unfortunately, many of our youth hold this belief. I would argue that this problem stems from how we’ve approached teaching and modeling the pillars of Islam from the start, often treating them as separate and isolated responsibilities rather than an interconnected framework.
Again, this is another reason why I advocate for formal Islamic education to be done at home during the early years even if the child goes to a Madrassah or a faith-based school. A child can only strengthen their identity formation at home first and foremost.
So how do we fix this?
In early Islamic parenting, we need to emphasize Aqeedah and Tawheed first. Then, it’s Salah, followed by fasting (Sawm) by the age of 12. After that, you can start focusing on the final two pillars Zakah and Hajj when they become applicable.
The goal is for your child to have an accurate and strong working knowledge when it comes to the practice of the first three pillars before they reach puberty. Sure, they can learn about the other two as well, but those won’t apply to them until later in life. Focus your energy on the areas that matter the most in those early years.
If you take anything from this week’s newsletter, let it be this: there is no Islam without proper Aqeedah therefore, learning and focusing heavily on practicing Tawheed, and applying it in daily life, is critical to your child’s Islamic identity formation. It should be your non-negotiable priority.
A daily conversation should be, how can we apply “La ila Illa Allah, Muhammed Rasool Allah. There is no God but Allah and Muhammed is His messenger” to this issue as a family?
Dear parents, remember that your child’s Aqeedah is being challenged and interferred with daily by their environment, and it’s our job as parents to consistently ground them and solidify their understanding of Allah (SWT) and the principles of Tawheed.
And yes, I know Halloween is in the air, and contrary to what many think, it’s a major Aqeedah issue as well. For anyone who has been asking about my popular Halloween workshop, I’m offering you all a 60% discount so you can get started today.
This is my gift to you to end the month on a note that raises the word of Allah in a fun and engaging way. You can read the details and register [here].
Until next time, take care.
What’s brewing in the community?
1- I shared a free class on navigating unwanted/negative behaviours this month. It’s 7 minutes. Click here.
2- I released a mini-course on all things homeschooling and how to get started. Over 100 of you loved it. Join here.
3- I will be teaching a workshop on ‘Shifting The Islamic Parenting Paradigm’ in the near future. Join here to get on the list for free.
4- If you want my monthly Islamic education curriculum delivered to your inbox each month, join my membership here.
5- Looking for additional resources? Personal Development & Parenting. Parenting Planner. Master Your Mothering Flow - Go from Chaos to Calm. A Home System That Works.
Until next time, Take care
Assalamu Alekum.