I Got Beef with Galentine.
Lately, I’ve drastically cut down my social media usage, but every now and then, I pop in to see what’s going on.
Last night, I scrolled through my feed and saw multiple Muslim moms posting about their Galentine’s events. What is it you might ask? Basically it’s a way of celebrating friendships.
But let’s be real. If they didn’t slap the “Galentine” label on it, everyone and their mama would call it what it really is: a Valentine’s Day party. Because that’s exactly what it looks like.
And my heart sinks when I see this happening within our community, especially from moms raising Muslim children.
If you are parent who is pro the idea of celebrating friendships in the month of ‘love’, keep an open mind and keep reading. Should the justfiction of ‘Deeds are judged by intentions’ rises up for you, I want to remind you that actions are judged by intentions with the requirement of compliance to the Quran and Sunnah.
Imagine being a Muslim kid watching this concept of Galentine unfold.
On one hand, your parents tell you, We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.
On the other, your mom is hosting or is attending a party with pink and red decorations, heart-shaped cookies, and a form of “Galentine’s” all over the invites.
Confused much? And that’s on a good day.
Valentine’s Day is being openly celebrated by Muslims around the world. Not because they don’t know better, but because the commercialization of the holiday has convinced them to accept the belief behind it: It’s about love. What’s wrong with that?
I’m not here to judge
I get it. When I was in second grade, I enjoyed getting Hershey’s Kisses and those little cards that said, Be Mine. Who wouldn’t? Love is a basic human need.
But here’s where the frustration kicks in.
When we pick a day to celebrate any form of love because of a historical Pagan festival called Lupercalia, then we are following a path shaped by shirk beliefs, not monotheism.
And that’s what frustrates me.
No one today can say, I didn’t know. The information is out there. The internet exists. AI exists. The real question is: Why are we choosing to celebrate love in a way that completely contradicts our Islamic fundamentals?
The prophet (peace be upon him) warned us about this and said, “You will surely follow the ways of those who came before you, step by step, so much so that if they were to enter a lizard’s hole, you would follow them.The companions asked, “O Messenger of Allah, do you mean the Jews and Christians?”
He replied, “Who else?”” (Sahih al-Bukhari, 7320; Sahih Muslim, 2669)
The child we’re raising is now uncertain about their identity because of our actions.
They will grow up normalizing this holiday, no matter how desperately we try to call it something else. And that’s what’s heartbreaking.
Deep down, who are we fooling? ourselves, the people around us, or Allah?
If we’re going to do it, at least let us have the honesty to say, I am choosing to celebrate Valentine’s Day. At least that gives the child clarity. They’ll understand that their parents made a choice. And if Allah guides them, they’ll have the opportunity to reject it.
But when we send mixed signals? When we tell them Galentine’s is fine because it’s about love? That’s where the real damage happens.
We are not doing our children any favors by adopting these commercialized, pagan-rooted holidays. We’re not helping them “fit in” or saving them from feeling left out. What we are doing is sabotaging the natural fitrah and identity that Allah placed inside them and chose for them.
We’re Playing a Dangerous Game
When we put our children in environments that have no interest in preserving their Islamic identity. Not only that, we toy with their being by celebrating holidays in a way that blurs the lines between what’s acceptable and what’s not in Islam.
The worst part? Many times, parents don’t even know where they stand themselves. I would argue that the parents are still trying to ‘fit in’ themselves for many different reasons and it’s bleeding right into our Muslim children. The reality is that Allah swt already talked to us about this when he said:
"And never will the Jews or the Christians approve of you until you follow their religion. Say, 'Indeed, the guidance of Allah is the [only] guidance.' If you were to follow their desires after what has come to you of knowledge, you would have against Allah no protector or helper." Surah Al-Baqarah (2:120)
That’s why I’m saying: Stop the madness and pick your stride. Either call it what it is or leave it. Labeling it in a “platonic” way to celebrate a vulgar holiday doesn’t change the facts.
I won’t just leave you with my rant today. I came with goodies. Instead of adopting commercialized holidays, here are three meaningful ways to teach your children about love from an Islamic standpoint that strengthens their identity.
Three practical ways to teach love in an Islamic manner.
Discuss Allah’s love for his servants: Teach children about how Allah’s mercy encompasses everything and that His love for us is greater than that of a mother for her child.
Teach about the prophet’s (peace be upon him) love for his ummah: Share stories of how the prophet (peace be upon him) cared deeply for his ummah, and how his dying wish was to intercede for us on the day of reckoning. We literally read this dua’ after every salah - explain it to them!
The love of believers for one another: Talk about how believers who love each other for the sake of Allah have a special status and will be shaded under his shade on the day where there is no shade.
Think and Parent Long-Term
My dear parents, think beyond today and your child’s small age and this holiday. Think about your child’s long-term well-being. Research continues to prove children raised in households that honor their religious identity have better wellbeing, health, and happiness in adulthood.
Instead of celebrating love in ways that confuse our children, let’s educate ourselves and them about the holiday and about Islam overall.
Should you need help with any of this, I would be happy to support you and your child inside my workshop. Click here to learn more.
Let’s stop sending mixed messages. I plead with you: Let’s stop this madness.
What’s brewing in the Elite community?
1- I am currently running an AWESOME program for Muslim parents looking to create an impact and earn an income with what they already know. If you are interested, click here and I’ll send you a sample of our first session.
2- My 7 minute class on navigating unwanted/negative behaviours has become popular. Click here if you want to take it.
3- This month, I am sharing this awesome resource about love with you for free. Check it out.
Until next time, Take care
Assalamu Alekum.