When research speaks, we often hasten to apply its findings, trusting that it can guide us to the outcomes we desire in life. Yet, what's truly fascinating is how Ramadan, without needing to present empirical evidence, inherently knows that the practices and habits it instills will foster enduring transformation. This conviction stems from its divine origin, of course.
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While we meticulously scrutinize and experiment with recommended research to verify its effectiveness, Ramadan straightforwardly calls us to action. It promises liberation from sins and evil, relief from divine punishment, deeds magnified in value as if performed over a thousand months, and prayers that ascend directly to the Almighty for response. Such promises far surpass any assurances of longevity and family well-being research might offer.
Ramadan engages us directly, urging immediate action to unveil our immense potential for improving our lives.
Here are teachings of Ramadan that supersedes what any research will tell you as a parent. I bring this list to you (although there is more) so you can always begin with what Allah swt and his prophet (saw) taught us in our parenting before turning towards manmade advice of experts.
Benefits of Ramadan Pertaining to Parenting That Is Better Than Expert Research
1. Encouragement of Family Dinners Through Iftar
Eating Iftar together reinstates the importance of family dinners, a practice that fosters communication and strengthens bonds within the family unit. It's a moment that not only brings the family together but also emphasizes the significance of being mindful of the eating and drinking supplications, which we might often rush through or forget normally. The act of sharing a meal and expressing gratitude for finally having the ability to nourish our body through these supplications instills values of thankfulness, mindfulness, and devotion to God in both parents and children.
Research have always shown that families who engage in regular family dinners exhibit stronger familial bonds and better communication skills. These occasions provide a platform for parents to model positive behaviors and reinforce the importance of gratitude. An article written by Harvard University stated,
"Studies show that the more often families eat together, the less likely kids are to smoke, drink, do drugs, get depressed, develop eating disorders and consider suicide, and the more likely they are to do well in school, eat their vegetables…” 1
This dying tradition is brought back full circle every year and we are reminded to practice it as the prophet (saw) did. The best part, as Muslim parents, eating together gives us a great opportunity to model, teach and instil the prophetic habits when eating food.
Prophetic habits to model when eating meals together like Iftaar:
Saying Bismillah when starting and sitting down: The prophet (saw) said, “When any one of you eats, let him mention the name of Allah. If he forgets to mention the name of Allah at the beginning, let him say Bismillaahi fi awwalihi wa aakhirihi (in the name of Allah at its beginning and at its end).” Saheeh hadeeth
Eating with your right hand (even for our lefties out there). The prophet (saw) said “The Shaytaan eats with his left hand and drinks with his left hand.” Narrated by Muslim
Showing gratitude to Allah when we finish eating: The prophet (saw) would say, “Al-hamdu Lillaahi hamdan katheeran tayyiban mubaarakan fihi ghayri makfiyyin wa laa muwadda’ wa laa mustaghni ‘anhu Rabbanaa ‘azza wa jall (Allah be praised with an abundant, beautiful, blessed praise. He is the One Who is Sufficient, Who feeds and is never fed, The One Who is longed for, along with that which is with Him, and the One Who is needed. He is Our Lord, may He be glorified). Narrated by al-Bukhaari
Eating from what’s in front of you. The prophet (saw) said, “eat from that which is in front of you in the dish*.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari
Praising food and not criticizing it (even if you were the one who cooked it). The prophet (saw) “Never criticized food at all. If he liked it, he would eat it, and if he did not like it, he would leave it and not say anything. Or he would say, “I do not feel like eating this.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari
When invited to eat by someone to eat (hello iftar parties), the prophet never left without making dua’a for them. He would say, “O Allah, bless for them that which You have provided for them, forgive them and have mercy on them.” Narrated by Muslim
Being upright when eating without reclining. The prophet (saw) said “I do not eat reclining.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari
2. The Ritual of Suhoor as a Teaching Tool for Daily Worship
Waking up for Suhoor serves as a powerful reminder that, just as we make an effort during Ramadan to wake our family up for Suhoor, we can also wake our children for Fajr Salah throughout the year. It underscores the ability of families to pray together and maintain spiritual practices despite busy schedules, reinforcing the significance of shared worship and the discipline it brings to daily life.
Studies in developmental psychology highlight the importance of routine and shared activities in building a sense of security and belonging in children. Engaging in regular prayer, such as Fajr Salah, not only strengthens our Emaan, but also enhances the family's sense of unity.
“The results suggest that married adults who spend more time in habitual prayer and at least weekly family worship experience higher levels of relationship satisfaction.” 2
Waking our children up for Suhoor allows us to model, teach and instil the sunnah habits of Suhoor as well.
Prophetic habits of Suhoor:
Eating Suhoor even if its small. The prophet (saw) said, “Eat suhoor, for in suhoor there is blessing.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari
Including dates when eating Suhoor. The prophet (saw) said, “The best suhoor for the believer is dates.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2345
Delay Suhoor and eat closer Fajr. The prophet (saw) was asked about the length, “How long was there between the adhaan and suhoor?” He said, “As long as it takes to recite fifty verses.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari
I recently taught details about the Fiqh and the Sunnah etiquettes of Ramadan for kids inside Forming Early Foundations
3. Integrating Quran Reading into Daily Life and Cognitive Development
The increased engagement with the Quran during Ramadan reminds us of the feasibility of incorporating Quran reading and understanding into our everyday routine. Despite the busyness of life, dedicating time to the Quran enriches the spiritual atmosphere of the home, fostering a deeper connection with the divine guidance and enhancing our understanding of faith on a practical level.
Research underscores the benefits of regular reading for cognitive and emotional development. When families incorporate Quran reading into their daily routines, it not only aids in memorization but also encourages discussions about its teachings, promoting critical thinking and ethical reasoning. This practice is rooted in the sunnah, which highlights the virtues of reciting and reflecting upon the Quran, making it a central part of spiritual and intellectual growth.
4. The Power of Dua in Achieving Success
Ramadan emphasizes the importance of dua, demonstrating that it is indeed a secret weapon for success. The encouragement to engage in excessive dua highlights its role not just in asking for material success but in seeking spiritual growth and guidance. Making time for daily dua teaches us the importance of constant communication with Allah, reinforcing our reliance on His wisdom and mercy.
In fact, psychological research on the effects of prayer and meditation suggests that these practices can significantly reduce stress and improve mental health. The concept of dua in Islam, as supported by various Hadiths, is not only a means of asking for blessings but also a process of self-reflection and spiritual cleansing. This reinforces the idea that dua is a powerful tool for personal development and achieving one’s goals, regardless of one’s level of worship, as it is contingent upon Tawheed rather than the quantity of worship.
“Research commonly reported that the assurance of help, consolation, protection and hope from God through religious belief, which was helpful in keeping parents psychologically healthy.”3
5. Zakah and the Importance of Community Support
The practice of giving Zakah during Ramadan reminds us to actively seek out those in need within our family and community. Zakah, as a fundamental pillar of Islam, encourages a proactive approach to supporting those whose circumstances may have changed. It instills a sense of responsibility and compassion in both parents and children. It reminds us that others have a right over the wealth we acquire and we should maintain that mindset throughout the year.
The impact of charitable giving in sociology books highlight the benefits not only for recipients but also for donors, fostering a sense of community and shared responsibility. The Quran and Hadith extensively discuss the virtues of Zakah and charity, emphasizing their role in purifying wealth and aiding those in need, thereby reinforcing the moral and social values central to Islamic teaching on day to day basis.
A study done in 2014 provided evidence that young children already engage in sharing behaviour and that only confirms the Fitrah Allah instills in us from the early years.
“5-year-old children were rather inclined to give more to the poor individual than distributing the resources equally, demonstrating that their wish to support the poor overruled the otherwise very prominent inclination to share resources equally.” 4
Although there are countless of other benefits of Ramadan that outweigh research, l’ll quickly list some that we might overlook.
6. Prioritizing Acts of Worship
Ramadan showcases our capability to prioritize acts of worship, compelling us to rearrange our daily schedules around suhoor and iftar, emphasizing the flexibility and dedication we can apply to our entire lives. This sacred month teaches us to adjust our commitments, whether work or social, to accommodate our religious obligations like Salah (prayer) and Sawm (fasting). It's a vivid reminder that, with intention and effort, spiritual practices can and should take precedence in our lives, influencing how we organize our time year-round.
Research supports the concept of habit formation and its impact on prioritizing tasks. Studies have shown that when individuals prioritize activities that align with their values and beliefs, such as religious practices, it not only enhances their spiritual well-being but also improves their overall life satisfaction.
7. Feasibility of Islamic Parenting and Education
Ramadan serves as a powerful reminder that Islamic parenting and education are practical and achievable, regardless of our circumstances. By making Ramadan special and teaching our children its significance and rulings, we demonstrate that imparting Islamic values and practices can be integrated seamlessly into our lives if we put an effort. This month encourages us to apply the same enthusiasm and dedication to educating our children about Islam beyond Ramadan, highlighting that the essence of Islamic teaching is timeless and adaptable to any era or culture.
Educational theories like constructivism emphasize the importance of contextual learning, where knowledge is built upon real-life experiences. In fact, it is one of the learning approaches I use inside my Islamic parenting + education for the early years program, Forming Early Foundations for you and your child.
8. Discipline of the Tongue and Heart
Ramadan teaches us to discipline our tongue and purify our hearts, especially in our interactions with those around us. It's a time when we're called to strive for our highest selves, utilizing the tools and opportunities provided to improve our character daily. This emphasis on self-improvement and mindfulness in communication is crucial for parents to model and teach, as it fosters a nurturing and positive family environment.
The field of positive psychology highlights the importance of positive communication and emotional regulation in building healthy relationships. The teachings of Ramadan align with these principles, advocating for self-control and kindness in interactions, which are echoed in the Hadiths that emphasize the significance of guarding one's speech and intentions for the sake of harmonious relationships and personal growth.
9. The Importance of Regular Masjid Attendance
Ramadan underscores that Fridays should not be the sole occasion for masjid attendance, especially for men/boys. It teaches that, just as one finds the strength to attend Taraweeh prayers despite fatigue from work, there is potential to maintain regular masjid visits for obligatory prayers throughout the year. This commitment to communal worship not only strengthens one’s faith but also fosters a sense of clarity, belonging, steadfastness, and conviction in faith.
With the days of Ramadan swiftly passing, it's crucial to seize the opportunity for growth in our deen and personal development. I invite you to join my free workshop, "Designing your Accepted Ramadan in 3 Easy Steps as a Busy Parent."
This workshop is specifically tailored to help you maximize the remaining days of Ramadan, offering practical strategies to enrich your spiritual practice, connect with your family on a deeper level, and achieve transformative outcomes without added stress.
Don't let this Ramadan pass without making it a turning point in your parenting and personal journey. Sign up now and step into a world of meaningful change, where the blessings of Ramadan continue to enrich your life and guide your path as a parent beyond its 30 days.
What’s brewing in our community?
1- Free Workshop: Learn the exact steps you need to have an accepted Ramadan in 3 simple steps as a busy parent - Free workshop for a limited time. Join here.
2- Glow up your life as a parent beyond Ramadan "YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS CHALLENGE CHANGED MY LIFE.” - Mama of 1. Want the same thing? Click here.